Garud Oh Garud - 2

Well continuing from the previous post about our Anatomy HOD Dr Garud . After hearing my experience , my good friend appu planned his strategy as his viva with Dr Garud was scheduled the next day .Well a thing about appu 1st , obviously his real name is not appu , his real name is sahil and he is lovingly called as appu.We both know each other from 11th std when we were in the same practical batch for physics and chemistry and have been the best of friends since .We entered the same MED school together .In 1st year in med school if one of us would be absent , the other one wouldn't also stick around in college for long to attend lectures .This was more true in the 1st 6 months of 1st MBBS as he was the only friend i had in college and i was the only friend he had.Gradually we made more friends and since second MBBS both of us finally adjusted to our new college.Well coming back to the main story , appu was not all that good at the skull bone { none of us were good at the skull anyways} .After hearing what happened with me appu said "well when he asks me what i have studied well , i will tell him i have studied the skull well.You said you had studied the clavicle well and he did'nt ask you clavicle and you got screwed , i will will tell him i have studied the skull well.Naturally he wont me the skull and would ask me the other stuff at which i am decent and would be able to answer well".I wished him all the best for his master plan.The next day appu walked in confidently into the dissection hall with a confidence which you would normally associate with his idol 'Sachin Tendulkar '. I was waiting for him in the parking lot .After a while i saw him walking towards me , however all the confidence he had exhibited half an hour back had miraculously vanished .As he approached me i asked him how his viva went .Well appu started in his usual style " Arrey waat lagli maje khup marli " [ translated as i have been screwed ] . I asked him what happened to his master plan .He said he had gone in for the viva and this is how his date with Dr Garud went

Appu - Good morning Sir
Garud - good morning , what bone have you studied
appu - i have studied skull very well sir
garud - good pick up the skull and identify the foramen where i have placed the stillete and tell me its contents
well appu said " as soon as garud told me to pick up the skull , i realized that the gods are not smiling one me anymore".Well i don't really have to tell how appu got screwed do I? .Lot of people would say , u guys could have studied everything instead of making such plans.But thats how we are , or that's how we were at that time , probably a bit over smart or too smart or maybe stupid in trying to outsmart the teacher.But that's how life is , it screws u up when you think that you got it all figured out .

'MANE' The Legend

We had a clerk in Anatomy department called 'Mane'. In first year we used to have tutorials in histology, no need to say that for most of us histology was very dull subject and its tutorial means nightmare as we had to identify different slides on which we were supposed to give viva. Mane was a gate way pass for many of us as he used to provide information about slides in the tut. In return we had to pay him some amount. I was one of them.
Though i tried this trick only once as my 1st experience was proved disaster. On the day of Tut. i paid mane for the obvious reason to get pass in Tut. He assured me that he will come to my rescue. Finally Tut. started Dr. Barve was our examiner. I got two slides to identify, when i saw those slides i realize that they were not that difficult as i thought, i successfully identified 1st slide, then started looking for other. Because of some characteristics of that slide i came to the decision that it had to be either stomach or duodenum but was confused between the two. Then i remember my so called 'Helper' ...........Mr. Mane, i started looking for him in to lab. but he wasn't there, then i thought he made fooled of me and skipped. Then suddenly mane entered into the lab i was relived but then Dr. Barve shouted from the corner 'Mane get out'.
When he was leaving the lab. he passed by me and to grab that opportunity i asked him about slides kept at place where i was standing. He said.....................penis. For a moment i thought how could it be slide of penis as i had already reached to diagnosis of GIT organ, but then few student had told me that mane knew each and every slide & he can even identify them from a distance. Also i didn't wanted to make any mistake in front of Dr. Barve. While i was in dilemma about that slide Dr. Barve came to me and asked about my diagnosis. First slide was correct then after few q's about it he went on second one & asked me
whats your diagnosis ? penis... i mumbled very softly.
What? luckily he couldn't hear that. Then i decided to tell my own diagnosis , I said, 'sir its a stomach'.
No, you are wrong, he replied. I started cursing my self for ignoring mane's advice.
'Its a slide of duodenum'....... Dr. Barve said. Then he explained me its characteristics and all.......
Finally i was done with my Tut. with one slide correct and one wrong but by not listening to mane i saved myself from a disaster in front of Dr. Barve
Then i decided never to take help from the Legend Mr. Mane.

Garud Oh Garud 1

Well our Anatomy HOD was Dr Garud , who taught us embryology.A lot of Senior doctors had told my friend appu that Dr Garud was a gr8 teacher and all ,however most of us never understood what we taught , maybe because the subject he taught , embryology itself was so dull and drab.Most of the students however did attend his lectures but that was more to do with the fact that he never asked questions during lectures ,so you could really relax comfortably on the back bench during his lectures and safely get your attendance.We had a lot of internal exams in 1st year and during one internal exam my viva on bones was taken by Dr Garud. Vivas on bones were held in the dissection hall and you could revise your stuff from the book till literally the last moment ,till you went for the viva.As i was awaiting my turn i saw from a distance that the bones kept on his table were a clavicle , femur , humerus and the skull.The people before me told me that he gave you a choice during the viva and you could pick up and describe any one of the four bones mentioned above.I was never really good at the skull bone so i decided, okey , i will pick up the clavicle.So before going in i went through the anatomy of the clavicle one last time .From the inside Dr Garud saw me reading and reading as i awaited my turn.As my turn came , i walked in confidently and wished him.I never really liked anatomy and the viva on bones and all but wanted to make a good impression in this one.Without any good morning or anything Garud asked me , "so what bone you have studied?" , i smiled confidently as i said to myself here is the chance to finally make a good impression in anatomy , just pick up the clavicle and start .I told him that i had studied the clavicle properly expecting him to tell me to pick it up and start when i got the shock which quickly brought me crashing down.He told me to pick up any bone other than clavicle and looking the bones on his table i.e skull , femur and humerus, i wasn't good at any of them.As i stood in front of him cursing my fate a line from a Hindi movie constantly rung in my head " Haath aaya par mooh na laga ".Well needless to say i had another torrid time in an anatomy viva .

My first encounter with Physiology

I was granted admission to the college about 2-3 months later than others. Something to do about being on a 'reserve list'. Anyway, looking at BVP college life in general one would not be wrong to assume it was lucky that I was spared of 3 months here.

The first day that I attended, I remember it was a Friday. There were two lectures in which I understood nothing. It was followed by a Biochemistry practical, which was familiar territory (from 12th std.). A lonely lunch was followed by Anatomy tutorial and dissection, in which I comprehended the lecture as much as the cadaver.

In between, I tried to introduce myself to the HOD's of various departments. I met Dr. Garud from Anatomy, and Dr. Ranade from Biochemistry. A certain Dr. Pansare was absconding. I should meet her the next day, then.

On the second day (Saturday), I was certain that I would be late. We had a lecture at 10:00 am.As I ran towards the lecture hall, I saw an elderly lady enter along with a motley bunch of students, and I heaved a sigh of relief. Not too late, then. I hastily entered the classroom and as the day before, I was awed at seeing a class full of white coats. (I realised 1 and a half years later that most of them had shit for brains).

As I entered, the lecturer announced, "Excuse me, but what are you doing?"
I gave back a puzzled look.

"Did I allow you to enter?"

What was this woman getting at?

"Did you ask permission to enter my class?"

Oh, so that was it. She wanted submission. Okay. "May I enter the class?", I questioned.

"No."

I didn't know what to do. I just stood there, wondering as to what the fuck was going on, and she told me to leave a second time. I left.
On the way out I saw two people, later whom I came to know as Vinayak and Shrikant. They too, wisely disappeared and took me with them. They told me the name of this woman, "Pansare".

Monday afternoon, I went to her office, and this time the old hag was present. "New admission? Since Friday? Why did you wait till this moment to meet me?"

Thus started my painful experience with First Year, MBBS. By the way, I hated every moment of it.